January 2022: Beards
It’s January and our faces are cold. Here’s some nice beards that could keep us warm and stylish.
Dylan’s Rec
Michael Stuhlbarg in
Call Me By Your Name (2017)
Call Me By Your Name has a murky legacy now due to Armie Hammer being, well, that whole mess. However Michael Stuhlbarg and his beautiful daddy beard remain undeniably great and hot. A beard in the sense of facial hair and a beard in the sense of “I know this person I love is actually gay but I will support them coming out whenever they feel comfortable”.
Kirk’s Rec
Jeff Daniels in
The Squid and the Whale (2005)
I never thought much of Jeff Daniels looks-wise until he debuted a full-on beard in Noah Baumbach’s (original) divorce dramedy The Squid and the Whale. Daniels gives us full writer/professor/asshole BEARD, adding even more to his dry sarcasm and overly-intellectual smugness. Despite him being a complete ass to his wife and children, you can’t help but to understand why his college students want to sleep with him. This daddy beard is HOT.
Chris’s Rec
Tommy Chong in
Up in Smoke (1978)
Hey man, a beard should look natural. Other people shouldn’t think “hey, nice beard” they should think “hey, nice face.” Chong’s beard is an extension of his life - it’s not cultivated yet somehow it turns out perfectly. It’s a natural beard for a person who appreciates things that grow naturally.
Stephanie’s Rec
Kurt Russell in
The Thing (1982)
Cold weather and an alien invasion?! No thank you - this would be my worst nightmare. The only way you could talk me into a remote research expedition to Antarctica would be if I could have a face blanket as majestic as Russell’s.
Jesse’s Rec
Oscar Isaac in
Scenes from a Marriage (2021)
When it comes to my favorite beards in film, I’ll address the issue with a more recent, intimate experience. Two months ago, I was getting a haircut and finally asked my barber about the use of a beard trim. I know how to trim my own beard more or less and wasn’t sure what the extra $20 would get me beyond my own facilities. Well, beard trims are more than just cutting down your facial hair to size, he said. I could actually pick out any beard I saw in the wild and we could put together a plan to put it on my face.
Excited at the possibility, I hopped on the internet in search of the perfect face and, naturally, landed on Oscar Isaac. From the volume of Dune, to the bespeckled look in Ex Machina, even his unkempt, but still fetching beard in Inside Llewyn Davis, there were lots of options. However, after seeing Twitter bestow “Best beard of the year” to his look from Scenes from a Marriage, I had my pick.
I screenshotted the beard, brought it in to my barber (who of course exclaimed “Oscar Isaac! Good pick”), and was given a trim that I couldn’t have left me more satisfied. The only thing left now is to finally sit down and watch the dang movie. Until I do, I’ll take pleasure in walking around looking a little more like Oscar Isaac and thinking about my new favorite word that describes people who like beards; pogonophile.